Unlike you, I don't lie about things I don't know about. Moron. Now, fuck off.   

    It seems that when the Creator was making the world, He called a Man aside and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. The Man was horrified. "Only twenty years?" But the Creator didn't budge - that was all He would give him.
    Then He called the Monkey and gave him twenty years. "But I don't need twenty years", the Monkey protested. "Ten is plenty." "Can I have the other the other ten years?" asked the Man. The Monkey graciously agreed.
    Then He called the Lion and gave him twenty years. The Lion, too, needed only ten years. Again the Man asked, "Can I have the other ten years?" The Lion roared, "Of course."
    Then came the Donkey. He was given twenty years, but, like the others, ten years was enough. The Man asked for the spare ten years and got them.
    This explains why the Man has twenty years of normal sex life, ten years of Monkeying around, ten years Lion about it, and ten years making an ass of himself.

(sic)

1) THE ONE THAT GOT ROY THROWN OUT OF WORLD CUP
Keane temporarily quits international football after a monumental slanging match with Republic of Ireland boss Mick McCarthy, in front of his team-mates in Saipan. Keane had expressed his frustrations with the side's preparations for the 2002 World Cup to the Irish Times, telling them: "You've seen the training pitch and I'm not being a prima donna. Training pitch, travel arrangements, getting through the bloody airport when we were leaving, it's the combination of things. I would never say 'that's the reason or this is the reason', but enough is enough." That interview led to a furious row, during which Keane told McCarthy. "Mick, you're a liar... you're a fucking wanker. I didn't rate you as a player, I don't rate you as a manager, and I don't rate you as a person. You're a fucking wanker and you can stick your World Cup up your arse. The only reason I have any dealings with you is that somehow you are the manager of my country! You can stick it up your bollocks."

2) THE ONE THAT LED TO ROY LEAVING MANCHESTER UNITED
Keane leaves Manchester United after attacking seven of his team-mates on the club's TV channel, MUTV. Keane's most stinging vitriol was reserved for Ferguson's record signing, Rio Ferdinand. "Just because you are paid £120,000-a-week and play well for 20 minutes against Tottenham, you think you are a superstar," Keane said. "The younger players have been let down by some of the more experienced players. They are just not leading. There is a shortage of characters in this team. It seems to be in this club that you have to play badly to be rewarded. Maybe that is what I should do when I come back. Play badly." Not surprisingly the video, originally scheduled as part of the Roy Keane Plays the Pundit slot on MUTV, was pulled at the insistence of manager Sir Alex Ferguson.

3) THE ONE WITH THE SNAPPED LIGAMENT
After Keane suffered a season-ending knee injury while trying to trip up Alf Inge Halaand in September 1997, the Irishman stewed for three years before exacting his revenge in the Manchester derby. "I'd waited long enough. I fucking hit him hard. The ball was there (I think). Take that you cunt," he recalled in his autobiography in 2002. "And don't ever stand over me again sneering about fake injuries. And tell your pal [David] Wetherall there's some for him as well. I didn't wait for Mr Elleray to show the red card. I turned and walked to the dressing room."

4) THE ONE WITH THE PRAWN SANDWICH
Keane hits out at sections of United's support in the wake of what he felt was a dire atmosphere in the club's Champions League clash with Dynamo Kiev in 2000. "Sometimes you wonder, do they understand the game of football?" he splutters. "We're 1-0 up, then there are one or two stray passes and they're getting on players' backs. It's just not on. At the end of the day they need to get behind the team. Away from home our fans are fantastic, I'd call them the hardcore fans. But at home they have a few drinks and probably the prawn sandwiches, and they don't realise what's going on out on the pitch. I don't think some of the people who come to Old Trafford can spell 'football', never mind understand it."

5) THE ONE WITH THE RUN-IN WITH BIG JACK
Even as a teenager, Keane is not afraid to stand up to authority. Following a friendly against the United States in Boston in 1991, the Republic of Ireland team are allowed a night out. The next morning, with departure set for 7.30am, the team are kept waiting until 8am by Keane. A furious Jack Charlton says: "Nineteen years old, your first trip, do you have any idea how long we have been waiting?" Keane replies, without a hint of fear: "I didn't ask you to wait, did I?"

6) THE ONE WITH THE LETTER
In 2000, Manchester United write a letter to fans blaming Roy Keane's new £52,000-a-week contract for the hike in season ticket prices. Roy, unsurprisingly, isn't happy. "I'm not one for holding grudges but this was a stupid mistake, a bad public relations exercise and something that should never have happened," he thunders. "I'm still waiting for my apology but I could be waiting a long time. The board have tried to explain what they meant, that it was part of a wider picture of trying to keep the fans informed, telling them the club wanted to rebuild and strengthen, which is why prices were going up. The fact is nobody should be singled out in a letter. It wasn't right. I felt everything was being laid at my door."

7) THE ONE WHERE PLAYERS ARE "PIECES OF MEAT"
It's 2002, and Jaap Stam's £16.5m departure to Lazio finds Roy unhappy. Again. "His transfer to Lazio illustrates how little power footballers have in the game. Contracts mean nothing," he fumes. "He has discovered that, to football clubs, players are just expensive pieces of meat. The harsh realities remain and when a club decide they want to sell there is little you can do once the wheels are in motion."

THE ONE WHERE ROY PROVES TO BE A FORTUNE TELLER
Just prior to United's make-or-break Premiership showdown with Arsenal in 2002, Keane questions the desire of some of his team-mates and warns - prophetically as it turns out - the Red Devils could end the season without a trophy. "There are a lot of cover-ups sometimes and players need to stand up and be counted," he admits. "I'm not sure that happens a lot at this club. That's the least we should do. We shouldn't have to demand it from the players - they should be proud to play and give 100%. We're not asking for miracles. We're asking them to do what they should be doing. When players don't do that it's bloody frustrating. We're going to find it hard to win the league and if we end up with no trophies there's something wrong."

9) THE ONE WHERE HE BLAMES THE YOUNGSTERS
As United lose their grip on their Premiership title in 2004, Keane rounds on unidentified younger players, accusing them of not pulling their weight. "We have one or two young players who have done very little in the game," he spits. "They need to remember that and not slack off. They need to remember just how lucky we all are to play for Manchester United and show that out on the pitch."

10) THE ONE WITH THE IRISH BLAZERS
In 2001, Keane hints he might quit the international stage if Republic of Ireland officials continue to treat the squad like second-class citizens. Fresh from a brilliant performance in a 4-0 thrashing of Cyprus, Keane blasts the FAI. "Where we trained last Monday, in Clonshaugh, was abysmal and it has been for as long as I've known it," he says. "I was fairly critical about our seating arrangements on the flight out here, when the officials were sitting in the first-class seats and the players were sitting behind. For me that's simply not right and it's not just because I'm playing for Manchester United. The priority has to be the team - and I don't think that has always been the case here."

Liverpool supporters are to launch an ambitious plan to buy the football club from its current American owners.

US tycoons George Gillett and Tom Hicks recently finalised a £350m refinancing of the club which they bought in 2007.

But the Share Liverpool FC Group is to reveal plans for a buy-out of the club by 100,000 Reds fans around the world.

The model proposed will be a Barcelona style, "member-share" scheme, aimed at raising £500m to purchase the club from its US owners and build a new stadium.

606: DEBATE Can the fans succeed in their bid to take over the club?

As well as UK-based fans, a website will be launched to attract interest from Liverpool's supporter base around the world, particularly in East Asia.

Club refinancing

Those behind the move are football business lecturer and Liverpool fan Rogan Taylor, former director of communications at the Premier League Phil French, and lawyer Kevin Jacquiss - an expert in launching co-operatives.

"The time is right to offer a different solution to the rising concerns that football fans have about the patterns of ownership developing at our major football clubs," said Mr Taylor, who is director of the Football Industry Group at the University of Liverpool.

Full details of how the fans' group hopes to buy the club will be revealed later on Thursday, although the initial figures seem to suggest an investment per supporter of £5,000 each.

Thousands of Liverpool fans have already demonstrated their dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs Rogan Taylor, Share Liverpool FC Group

Many Liverpool supporters have been unhappy at the recent uncertainty surrounding the refinancing of the club.

After much delay, and reports that either one or both of the owners was willing to sell a stake to Dubai's DIC, a refinancing deal was signed last week with the Royal Bank of Scotland and US bank Wachovia.

Tom Hicks confirmed to the BBC last week that of the £350m refinancing package, £105m of that will be debt tied to the club.

Of that total, £45m will be used for future player transfers and to meet the club's working capital needs, and the remaining £60m is thought to be free for start-up money for a new Liverpool stadium.

However, some supporters are unhappy about debt being placed on to the club, and there is also a perception that the owners' support for manager Rafa Benitez has not been as strong as it might.

Debt burden

"Thousands of Liverpool fans have already demonstrated their dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs," said Mr Taylor.

"Large amounts of debt often devolves onto clubs newly purchased, but the fans know that in the end, it will be they themselves who will have to pay it off through increased ticket prices and other schemes.

All looked rosy when the US duo took over in early 2007

"In such a case, why not simply buy the club yourselves?"

He said that many fans were unaware that there were other ways of financing and taking ownership of big clubs.

Mr Taylor said that in Germany and Spain most top-level football clubs were not for sale as they were owned by many thousands of "member fans".

"The Champions League has been won on six occasions in the last 15 years by clubs owned and run in such a way," he said.

Barcelona, which won the Champions League in 2006, is owned by its 100,000 fan-members.

Stadium plan

Earlier this month a survey carried out by the Liverpool Supporters' network showed that 76% of 2,000 fans questioned said they would "seriously consider reducing their financial commitment to the club" if the current owners stayed in charge.

When asked to choose between the owners and the manager as to who had the best interest of the club at heart, 99% backed Benitez.

However, Tom Hicks and George Gillett have insisted that they are fully behind manager Rafael Benitez.

They also say the club plans to build the 71,000-seat venue close to Anfield in Stanley Park in time for the 2011-12 season.

http://dontcostnothing.wordpress.com/2007/05/27/hot-tennis-players/

Simply because there's some photo's of hot tennis players and the text afterwards is quite humourous.
Kudos.